Jeffery “Haughville Man” Chandler’s Blog

Coping with “a little heat”

August 3, 2009 · Leave a Comment

From the San Antonio Express News, August 1, 2009: “It should come as no surprise to anyone who stepped outdoors last month that July’s daily average temperatures lit the city’s records on fire. Not only was it the hottest July on record, it also was the hottest month – ever”.
 
After reading the above excerpt from the newspaper it would be a gross understatement for me to say, as I often do when describing the weather in San Antonio and south Texas, that summers here get “a little hot”. Making that statement would also be another example of me being what my daughter says I am, “captain obvious”. We live in south central Texas, 150 miles from the Mexican border so naturally we’re going to experience heat. Most of the time my family and I relish warm weather but man, seriously, this has been quite a summer of extreme heat. During July we endured, no suffered, 22 days of temperatures that were 100 degrees or higher!! Other parts of the US has experienced a very rainy and cool summer so far and I’m sorry for that but it’s all relative. Back when we lived in Chicagoland I used to complain about the weather often but it was a different complaint. There I complained about the lack of warm weather, and the relatively short summers. Now, in San Antonio I complain about the extreme heat, and the very long summers.
 
Of course when it’s sunny and hot here, it seems like you’re in an oven when you step out of an air-conditioned building. Is it global warming? Who can say? It’s not only the heat that’s an issue, it’s the humidity, and it’s the intensity of the sun - all three become very oppressive over the course of our long summers. But all of those things are what we’ve come to expect here in south Texas when we describe summer. This time though we’ve gotten very little relief from the heat – very little rain, and very few “cold fronts” so far. We’ve had some fronts come thru from time to time the last few months. During those periods we’ll “cool” down to a mere 93 to 95 degrees (hey, it’s all relative) and there’s nearly rejoicing in the streets when that happens. Once during a summer visit by my late dad Billy, he said, “there’s always a breeze flowing down in San Antonio”. Dad was right, only he didn’t complete the sentence…there’s always a breeze, it’s a very hot breeze!
 
We’ve lived here now 14 years and in the early years I used to think that San Antonio’s humidity wasn’t that bad. In the last few years I’ve changed my opinion…a lot! Humid is humid, so I guess it doesn’t really matter who has the worst, but I will say that in my opinion San Antonio’s humidity is bad but it isn’t as oppressively bad as places like Houston, New Orleans, or even St. Louis, thank goodness for that. Here in the Alamo City, it’s not unusual for me to have to change shirts twice or more a day when I find myself outside for long periods in the summer – the combination of humidity and intense sunshine just brings out the sweat in me. My best friend Al says that I “sweat like a farm animal”. We joke that a place like Phoenix Arizona has what they call “dry heat”. By comparison, San Antonio sometimes has a “wet heat”. Phoenix’s heat may sneak up on you, in San Antonio it doesn’t hide, it smacks you in the face from jump street (a phrase that may not have been heard in decades,…sorry about that).
 
So how does a man like me from the Haughville neighborhood of Indianapolis handle this heat? I grew up experiencing a four seasons climate, now I live in a place that has but two – summer, and the cooler months. Back in the day in the midwest we’d have a little warm spell in Indy and we might complain but we’d somehow survive. We always knew that it wouldn’t be long before the summer would end and the cool of the fall season would arrive. I mean, really, summer didn’t officially arrive until June 20 or so, then it left, unofficially, around Labor Day. That’s not how it goes here in the land of the long summer – sometimes we kind of skip fall, meaning it will stay hot and toasty, or warm well into late October. It’s not unusual for it to be 70-75 degrees on Thanksgiving. That’s pretty impressive in a lot of ways although we’d really appreciate a cold spell every now and then for Thanksgiving. Turkey and dressing and all the fixins’ seem to go better with cooler temps in my opinion. When I was still playing softball I always thought it was so great to play in the “winter league” playing into early December. It didn’t matter that many nights I had on a couple of layers to stay warm, I was just happy to be playing ball while my friends and family in the northern climates had put their cleats away long ago.
 
So again I ask, how does the Haughville man survive the heat? We’re pretty blessed here to have many ways to cool off from the summer heat. Here’s some of the wonderful “escapes” that we have at our disposal in San Antonio:
* Outdoor pools – our subdivision pool, and the YMCA pool have been lifesavers, no pun intended.
* Water parks at Sea World; Six Flags Fiesta Texas; Splashtown; and the USA’s number one waterpark at Schlitterbahn (30 miles away in awesome New Braunfels). Schlitterbahn is especially cool because the water is spring fed (and always cool and refreshing). One of their tube rides dumps you into the lovely Comal River.
* Great rivers for tubing and swimming – one of the prettiest rivers I know of is the Guadalupe River; the Medina River (also very pretty), and the San Marcos River. There’s also a couple of huge lakes/resevoirs nearby (we rarely go though since we don’t have a boat).
* The Gulf Coast – only 150 miles away is Corpus Christi, Port Aransas, and Mustang Island, all with plenty of beaches; 300 miles away is lovely South Padre Island (alledgedly with beaches as nice as parts of Florida, only my daughter has been there in our family); and beautiful Galveston, about 250 miles away.
 
Those are some of the ways that my family and I survive or escape the heat. The other way to escape it is to avoid it. During our long summers it’s not unusual for people to stay inside their homes during the day to escape the heat. In my family we do our outdoor exercising, and most of our errands either early or late. It’s kind of a funny existence here during the summers. When the heat leaves in November and we get the “winter” weather we’re all sooo happy to be able to pull out our sweatshirts, “hoodies”, and jackets. Just as a point of reference, last “winter” we had exactly two days where the temps dropped below freezing, yep that’s it, two days. Usually we can enjoy the cool weather thru early April…and then it begins to heat up…sometimes gradual, sometimes abruptly, you just never know what to expect.
 
In summing up the impact of this record heat wave, we came here to south Texas for the weather – the chance to have warm weather all year. Having to put up with a little heat shouldn’t be that big of a deal, right? I will always complain, it’s in my DNA, but I love where I live. Always have, always will.

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Milestones, milestones

July 7, 2009 · 1 Comment

In a few days I will go on a journey that will mark some major milestones in my life. First we will be going to orientation and registration at the university in Florida where my daughter, my “little girl”, will attend in the fall. Secondly, shortly after that we’ll climb on board a cruise ship and cruise to a couple of popular spots in the western Caribbean – Grand Cayman Island, and Cozumel Mexico!!

The milestone of taking my daughter to orientation / registration won’t be as emotional and downright traumatic as the even bigger milestone in the fall when her mother and I take her there, drop her off, and come home without her. But just going there this time and experiencing orientation may just be tough enough on us. Even though we have every confidence that God will be there with her this fall, seeing to her safety and well-being it will still be a hard moment to say goodbye to her for a while. Thank God for web cams, and cell phones…we’ll need them I’m sure. Our daughter is strong, mature (somewhat), self-sufficient (again, somewhat), and trustworthy, but being away at college is a huge test of faith though - ours, and hers. It was tough enough back in 2002 when we dropped our son off in California at college – this will be a whole other level of tough, especially for me as the father. There’s nothing like the bond of a father and his “little girl”.

The milestone surrounding the cruise is that it will be the first cruise for my daughter and me. My wife cruised for the first time back in 2005 when she and her former college roommate celebrated their 50th birthdays. They went to The Bahamas for their cruise and had a blast. So my wife will be the veteran cruiser and I’m sure we’ll be counting on her to help answer the many questions we’ll have as the cruise unfolds. As one might imagine, we’re pumped and quite excited about the cruise – it should be a great, great time. I’m especially looking forward to waking up early and getting out to exercise with my wife before the crowds get out of bed (I wonder how many others have the same idea?). The getting up early part doesn’t even compute with my daughter, she’ll get her work-outs in later. I’m hoping that my old body will cooperate and allow me to walk as many miles as I can or want; swim as much as I want; and even shoot some hoops (when the coast is clear of course and there’s no one else there bugging me to play them one on one, which is a huge no-no for me). There’s also miniature golf, table tennis, gambling in the casino, and Bingo to take in while on board the ship.

We’re also quite excited to go snorkeling in Grand Cayman and Cozumel. Both places have some of the world’s best waters for snorkeling. My wife and I were able to take a snorkeling tour off of Cozumel a few years ago and it was just awesome – crystal clear waters, great colorful fish and coral.

So this cruise will mark a big milestone for me – I’ve never wanted to be amongst a large group of tourist within the seemingly tight confines of a cruise ship. Now, however, I can approach this opportunity with a kinder, gentler heart and spirit – so I’m more than ready to enjoy this. There’s nothing like being blessed by God to go thru great experiences with one’s family.

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Let’s go downtown and have some fun!

May 1, 2009 · 2 Comments

I believe it was the late 1960’s when singer Petula Clark had her hit song, “downtown”. And yes, I know I’m dating myself when I talk about the late 1960’s…nevertheless, I liked the song because I fancied myself a “city boy”. There has always been a fascination with downtown for me ever since I traveled with my mom on a city bus to downtown Indianapolis (it wasn’t a long trip since we only lived 10-15 minutes from the city center). In my opinion it seems, in many respects, that the lure of downtowns across the country has faded for many people. The tremendous growth and sprawl of suburban America has led many folks to pretty much ignore downtowns. Heck, I live in suburbia, about sixteen miles from the heart of downtown San Antonio.

It seems like fewer and fewer people take the time to enjoy their downtown anymore. I imagine that there’s plenty of reasons for that. I’m sure that many don’t care for having to drive in on crowded freeways, or having to take long rides on public transportation. Finding a parking space is far more of a challenge than at the local malls and shopping centers (and of course parking at the mall is usually free, downtown parking usually isn’t). Depending on what events are going on downtown, many folks don’t like having to deal with crowds. In addition, many don’t want to pay “downtown” prices for meals, services, and entertainment. Here in San Antonio we have an added layer of prices we like to call, “riverwalk prices”. This means that prices along the famous Paseo del Rio usually cost a little (or a lot) more than what you’d pay in the outlying areas of San Antonio.

For me, it’s just imprinted within my make up to visit downtown frequently. I usually don’t mind the crowds and it’s always exciting to see the next big thing that might be going on in my downtown. It’s been that way wherever my family and I have lived. Since we arrived in San Antonio in 1995 the city has hosted an NBA All-star game, three men’s NCAA Final Fours, one ladies NCAA Final Four (and 2010’s is here again by the way), the annual Alamo Bowl game, and countless other nationally staged events. Typically when those events are happening my family and I are there in some capacity, taking it all in, and loving every minute of being there.

Even when there’s nothing major happening in downtown I enjoy just heading down to walk around and take in the sights of what I think is one lovely downtown (an unbiased opinion for sure). When we lived in Chicago-land we often made the 30 mile trek into downtown from our suburban home to visit “the Loop” (as Chicago’s downtown is known). Chicago’s lake front downtown is one of the most beautiful places in the U.S. (I say that with mainly the warm weather months in mind). We loved walking the lake front, Grant Park, Navy Pier, and our favorite, “the magnificent mile” (Michigan Avenue). And usually we had to top our visits off with some world famous Chicago style pizza. Oh the memories!!

My Indianapolis downtown has grown into a very attractive place as well now that it can boast a giant enclosed shopping mall (Circle City), Monument Circle, great sports venues like Conseco Fieldhouse, Lucas Oil Stadium, and Victory Field. They have several classy hotels and restaurants as well. But what I remember so well are places that aren’t there anymore like Union Station, and Market Square Arena. Those, along with City Market, were the big attractions back in my day.

I wonder how many other people have a great love of downtowns like I do? Are we too comfortable now in our little suburban worlds to head downtown to enjoy what’s available? I think we need to remember that typically downtowns were where cities got started. Downtown was the hub to most cities – the shopping was there, entertainment was there (theatres, eating places, etc.), and most businesses got their starts in cities’ downtowns.

Nothing wrong with suburban shopping areas but I still crave going downtown. Now if we could just get free parking :)

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It’s Chaos I Tell You

April 13, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Am I the only person in the United States who feels that our citizens have forsaken the basic traffic laws that we’re supposed to follow? Surely not. During the course of my travels for business and pleasure I’ve seen plenty of what I call “traffic law negligence”. I’ve seen a great erosion in people’s observance of traffic rules. Lord knows we’re not as bad as some places I’ve been, such as Buenos Aires Argentina, Kingston Jamaica, and in the border cities of Mexico. Now that I think of it I might as well include good old New York City drivers in that bunch too (especially the taxi drivers). Thankfully, the majority of us are not in the same league of crazy drivers as those places. The joke in some of those places is that traffic rules are just a suggestion.

Probably we’ve all been guilty from time to time of executing a “rolling stop”. In fact in nearly every state I’ve been to usually people refer to those as a “(insert state) stop” or a “(insert state) roll-thru”. The turn-on-red-after-a-stop came out many years ago (first in California maybe) and over the years I’ve observed that our society has eroded that rule down to no stopping whatsoever (be very aware Mister pedestrian!!). And of course our obeying speed limit signage is, shall we say, lax at best. As our police are super busy trying to reduce major crime they seem to spend less and less time catching speeders and we’re taking advantage of that for sure by flying thru neighborhoods (like mine for instance) at blinding and scary speeds.

Maybe it’s our society’s youthful exuberance that’s fueling this high flying, fast paced, driving free-for-all. Or, better yet, maybe I can blame it on Vin Diesel’s latest movie, “Fast & Furious”? Or maybe our drivers are driving around stoked up on coffee, or the multitude of high energy drinks that have flooded the market the past few years?

I’m certainly not the pot calling the kettle black here, we all bend or break traffic laws quite often, there’s no doubt about it. But it seems that as more and more cars are on the roads these days I see fewer people obeying the traffic laws and extending common courtesy in general. I also see more in-car distractions in existence (such as talking on cell phones or texting while driving). As my son and daughter will attest, my favorite saying any more is, “it’s chaos I tell you” when I’m referring to driving.

Yesterday, on Easter Sunday, my wife and I had a brush with disaster while we were on the road. Less than a mile from home I was driving us to our favorite park to hike. I was second in the protected left turn line on ultra-busy Bandera Road ready to turn into the park. As we got the arrow to turn left we followed the first car. As usual I was trying to scan the traffic facing us to make sure they were stopped when all of a sudden I saw it…a late model Toyota Tundra pick-up truck barreling thru the red light from one of the two non-turning lanes facing us. I slammed on the brakes and the Sable’s anti-locking brake system kicked in and did its job. We quickly and jerkily came to a sudden stop and the Tundra flew by us, just inches (literally) away from our right front side. I blew the horn and watched as the person driving the truck grimaced as if we were going to crash (they never stopped or slowed down). Obviously they mistakenly thought that they had a green light since there was a protected left turn on their side (and that lane had moved). I didn’t notice if they were on a cell phone or were distracted in some other way. All I know is that as Barbara and I started up thru the intersection completing the turn I saw the faces on some of the other cars facing us and they were as shocked and relieved that no accident had happened.

As we headed into the park Barbara said a prayer thanking God for his mercy. In just an instant we could have been in a bad collision. We’ve made that turn a thousand times but it could have been a really bad scene. Who can say what distracted that driver in the truck? Were they in deep thought, on the phone, or who knows what? Is our society that busy and in such a hurry?

When we first arrived in San Antonio in 1995 I remember saying that I had never seen so many people running red lights. San Antonio has a wonderful road and highway system but there are many intersections where one has to sit thru a few cycles of the red light when traffic is heavy (and with 1.6 million people, it’s always busy). So many drivers try to beat the lights and occasionally we end up with accidents due to running the lights. I’m sure it’s the same all over, San Antonio can’t be any worse than anywhere else.

Thank God for his grace and mercy for saving us from disaster yesterday. It’s very sobering to face disaster in that manner and be spared. Our walk at the park was especially super sweet after that close encounter.

Now my friends, more than ever, slow down a little, savor the life you’ve been given, be ever vigilant as you drive, and let’s remember to say a prayer when you head out on those chaotic roads.

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Me and the game of golf

March 18, 2009 · 2 Comments

At one time in my life I think I was actually considering myself  a “decent” golfer. By decent I mean I could get the ball down the fairway in a mostly straight manner, and I could get the ball on the green occasionally. The best part of my game was putting – I could putt with the best of them (at least in my mind I could). During the late 1980’s and into the early 1990’s I probably played four times a year as opposed to my current zero (haven’t darkened a course since early 2007 and that was only for a painful nine holes).

My problems with the game of golf aren’t limited to my lack of skills. Here’s a quick list of the things I don’t care for with golf:

Greens fees are expensive overall, and sometimes just plain outrageous.

You have to wear proper golf clothing, and fairly nice clothing at that.

Golf equipment is expensive overall, and in some cases just plain outrageous.

Course Rangers (you know, the guys or ladies in the carts who bug hacks like me to keep moving along on the course).

“Mulligans” and “do-overs”.

Golf carts, beer carts, and the people who drive such carts.

Golf shoes.

There’s no trash-talking.

Golf gloves.

I can probably come up with a few more but that will suffice for now. On the other hand there’s a few things that I kind of like about golf and they include:

Golf courses (hey, you’re outside in the fresh air, enjoying scenery, and that is pretty cool)

Golf carts.

Tiger Woods, Greg Norman.

That’s it for the likes. Sorry if I offend. If you happen to love golf, great for you.

Let me start with greens fees and the costs to participate at golf. I know it takes money, lots of it, to maintain these wonderful golf courses but come on, man. Many times golf feels like an elitist pursuit, not quite what the common man can strive for generally and I don’t like that about golf. Greens fees, golf bag, golf clubs, golf shoes, golf clothes (OK I admit I have a Greg “shark” Norman polo or two), golf balls, golf umbrella, golf ball retriever, and of course the beloved golf glove(s). It’s way too much man. I especially dislike that I have to “dress for golf”. One time a couple of years ago my company had a golf outing (otherwise known by some as another excuse to consume free alcohol and food,…don‘t get me started on that). We were given instructions on what we could and could not wear on the course. Give me a break…I was born and raised a basketball player and all I ever needed was a pair of sneakers, a ball, and a place to play. I didn’t need special clothes or any other special equipment…you just find a place, roll out the ball, and begin playing. Enough said.

I hold a special dislike for course rangers. Probably because I was a terrible golfer and the people in my foursomes were usually just as bad, those nasty course rangers were always (and I mean always) following us. They would sit in their little cart and “urge” us to keep moving, limit our strokes, or to let someone “play thru”. I saw thru their little smirks…what they really were saying was, you guys are hideous, get off of our course and let real golfers play. Hey, maybe I was terrible but I paid my greens fees so get off of my back.

Why do I dislike golf carts, and then say I like the golf carts you ask? Well I dislike the carts for contributing to our collective laziness as a society (including me). It’s really a blessing to walk a course, however, you’ve got those course rangers pushing you and I’m usually off trying to find my lost golf ball in the rough…well, you get the picture. I like the cart because they’re pretty cool to drive and some of the more upscale places have carts with GPS to help you follow the course. Pretty amazing technology. By the way, there’s no GPS in basketball to help one find their way to the rim.

My dislike of golf shoes is kind of wacky as I’ve never actually owned a pair of golf shoes. In the past they’ve been just plain ugly but now I can buy Adidas or Nike golf shoes that don’t look that ugly. Maybe, just maybe if I’m ever forced to play the game again I would consider buying a pair of cool looking golf shoes. My real issue though isn’t the shoes, it’s the socks. What’s the proper golf sock? One of my former bosses, way back in Chicago, had probably the ugliest set of legs any man could have. We’d have our golf outings, he’d wear shorts, and oh my God…the horror! To make matters worse, he’d wear anklet socks, and these gosh-awful black golf shoes. Those socks, and shoes would be attached to those hideous legs. Enough said. Maybe if he’d gone with mid-calf socks, or better yet, knee socks I could have stomached it better.

There doesn’t appear to be any “trash-talking” at golf, at least in the circles I ran in. I’m used to talking some “stuff” when I’m competing at most anything. At golf one must be polite, and proper, so to speak. I suppose if I were to break out with some “smack” while someone is lining up a putt, that dreaded course ranger would probably show up and kick my butt off the course. What if I yelled, “get that mess off of the green” when my competitor was lining up a putt, what would happen? Golf, I’m sure, has its own version of trash-talking but I’m such a hack I’m not familiar with it.

So that brings me to my last dislike…golf gloves. I admit that they look cool on some people. I feel though that for most, it gives a pretentious look (a look that says, I’m such a good golfer that I need to wear gloves). But are they really needed and do they really add any value? Mine never did, but hey I’m a hack, what do I know? I seemed to do just as lousy with gloves on as I did with gloves off.

Thanks for letting me get that off of my chest. Let me reiterate – I don’t like the game of golf. I’ve tried it enough over the years to realize just how deep my dislike runs. However, now that I’m hobbled with bad knees and such I can’t play basketball or softball (one of my other great loves) anymore so maybe I should reconsider golf? If my wife ever says, honey let’s go play some golf…I’m all over it. In fact, I think my wife would be good at it. She’s a wiz at mini-golf or putt-putt and routinely puts me to shame. And by the way, she can talk some trash, even at mini-golf (and we love it). But for the time being, I don’t like golf. Now where’s my Greg Norman polo?

 

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TV isn’t what it used to be

March 2, 2009 · 1 Comment

I’ve fallen out of love with watching television. Television and I now have a strained relationship these days. I’ve grown so disgusted with what’s provided for our viewing pleasure that I am finding myself watching less and less of television. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my “must-see” television shows like “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation“; “ER“; “Criminal Minds”; and “Medium” (we tape them and watch as time allows). And of course, being a Spurs fan, at the very least I will watch most Spurs basketball games, and a few other NBA games (but I get sick of seeing the hated Lakers and Cavaliers so much,…don‘t get me started on that). If time permits, I’ll watch some of the other usual suspects (college basketball and football; and pro football). But overall I’ve fallen out of love of watching television.

There are many reasons for my current distaste of watching tv. For one, there’s far too much emphasis on bad behavior, and bad taste, especially in commercials. I have never liked commercials to begin with and I probably never will. Like many people, as soon as a commercial break comes on (no matter what I’m watching) I either get up and go do something until the show comes back, or worse, I will surf the channels looking for something better until my show returns. If I see one more erectile dysfunction commercial I think my head will explode. Do we really need to know that information? Wouldn’t one’s doctor be the one to suggest that? And then there’s beer commercials. For me, it used to be, ok I may not partake in alcohol but at least many of the beer commercials were “cute” or funny. Now, after all these years of being fed the big lies I can’t stand it. I especially get disgusted whenever I hear the, “be sure to drink responsibly” at the end of any alcohol commercial. Like that’s even remotely possible for a human being to do once that first sip has crossed the lips. Give me a break! It harkens back to the big lies of cigarette commercials…thank God they are gone from television.

Secondly, my distaste for much of television stems from the “sexing” of the shows and commercials. There is far too much skin (especially cleavage) being advertised. I’m no prude but come on! Far too much of the female body is being brought into my living room. I was flipping channels one night and I landed on “Saving Grace” and there was the lead actress literally naked! She was laid out on a bed, face down, in hand cuffs and the camera gave us the full length view. It was probably 9:30 or 10:00 p.m. and I don’t think all kids under, let’s say, 12 were in bed. Unfortunately we all know that our kids television watching for the most part isn’t supervised. And even if it was how many in our society would have had our kids turn it off after seeing that? On that particular show (which I don’t watch regularly but have spent some moments checking it out) the language is very, very vulgar in addition to the nudity, drug use, and sleazy content in general. I ask, what are we doing to our children? Could we be telling them in subtle terms that if it’s on television it must be true and this is how one is expected to act?

And lastly, I think that we’ve truly seen one of the signs that we’re in the last days of our existence – the so called “reality shows”. These shows are especially awful, and dangerous. From junk like “the real world”, “Cheaters”,and “the flavor of love” (this one is especially gross) it’s all trash and not worthy of our viewing in my opinion. Again I ask, what are we doing to our kids by allowing this trash on the television? To me it seems that we are telling our kids it’s ok to be sleazy, sex-addicted, loose-living, self-centered, bratty, spoiled, trash-talking morons on national television. I would imagine that much of this trash is staged and not even close to real (at least I pray that that is true) but we are promoting those behaviors by having it on television.

As I was saying, I’ve fallen out of love of television.

 

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A Proud Dad

January 28, 2009 · Leave a Comment

 

Yesterday I had the great pleasure of attending a San Antonio Symphony Orchestra mini-concert for elementary school children at Laurie Auditorium (Trinity University). As if that wasn’t enough of a treat, I got to sit in the front row and watch my 17 year old daughter and her school of dance classmates perform to the music of the symphony. What an awesome time it was. I was so proud of my “little girl”.

The concert and seeing my daughter dance took me back in time on two levels. One, I recalled how much I enjoyed the field trips that my grade school took me on to hear the Indianapolis Symphony Orchestra. Hearing the classics from Mozart, to Beethoven, and others was pretty cool to me back then. Those outings were a nice departure musically from the usual rhythm & blues, soul music, and rock that I was very much into at the time. My classmates and I would get to ride a school bus to some nice venue like Butler University’s Clowes Hall, or to one of the nice theatres in downtown Indy. We’d be in the huge crowds of school kids, all of us energized by the field trip and getting to miss classes legally. And I remember the teachers who accompanied us yelling and trying their best to keep us in check or at least keep us to a reasonable semblance of order. Those concerts were a nice escape from the usual. Sometimes we even had assignments to complete during the programs, like listening for certain things in the music and answering questions about the composers. I think those assignments were just to keep our attention from waning.

The other way that yesterday’s concert performance took me back was in seeing the amazing transformation of my little girl from a cute, chubby little bumblebee dancer on stage at Park Forest’ (Illinois) civic center in the mid 1990’s, to the cute little ballerina performing her first recital in San Antonio at St. Mary’s Hall a few years later, to this beautiful, 5’10” willow of a 17 year old (yes, I‘m biased). What an absolute blessing to witness that transformation!

When God blessed us with a daughter I had no idea the kinds of emotions and feelings I’d have. Raising our rough and tumble son was fairly easy for me, raising a daughter is/was much more challenging and seems to require more compassion and a different kind of understanding. But I’m loving this raising of a daughter, it’s quite an adventure and I count it a real blessing (most days). Days like yesterday at the concert really drive home just how precious and special raising a girl is. Thank you Lord.

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A Couple of Wonderful Days (1/19-1/20/09)

January 20, 2009 · 1 Comment

Some huge feelings are in motion for me currently and they center on the celebration of Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, jr., and the inauguration of a new president, an African-American president no less. The feelings are pride and hope. I attended my first MLK March along with my wife, daughter, and a few friends right here in good old San Antonio yesterday on 1/19/09. And I absolutely loved the experience. Of course it wasn’t too hard to enjoy it all when God provided chamber of commerce weather for San Antonio in the form of sunny skies and temps in the 70’s. A crowd of 100,000 filled the 3 mile long march route. About two thirds of the way thru the route, from a high vantage point, I looked back at the crowd behind me and I do swear that there was indeed 100,000 strong. I was so proud that the really cool thing about the scene was that it was a crowd that represented many ethnicities, nationalities, and walks of life. Most in the crowd had come out to celebrate the life of the late Dr. King, his legacy, and the values he preached.

As I walked I could not help but remember what it was like to grow up with a pretty decent degree of freedom as a black kid but yet there was always the need to watch one’s back. I grew up in Indianapolis, Indiana during the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s. From the news of the day I knew that racism was still quite rampant in the southern states. What I didn’t know at the time (although my dad and mom told me) was that my state was a supporter of (and some say the center of) the most racist and hate-filled organization of its kind, the KKK. There were still places in Indianapolis and Indiana in general where a black man was not welcome under any circumstances. That hurt so much to find that out, especially discovering it first hand. I’m not naive enough to think that either racism or the KKK for that matter has been erased, but I do think that in many ways some things have improved in my home state.

During my high school and college days in Indiana I had my share of scary and hurtful moments where I was called “nigger” and verbally threatened. That was especially true when my high school basketball team was on a roll to a 32-0 unbeaten state championship. We were in Columbus Indiana (ironically now regarded as a very welcoming and forward thinking place) in 1969 and beating a very strong Columbus Bulldog team when my team and I were subjected to taunts of “nigger” (by the way my team was 10 black guys, 2 white guys). It hurt to hear those ugly names but we actually used it as a rallying point and we dusted that team off nicely. Our coaching staff, all white men, ushered us off the floor quickly. All they could do was shake their heads in disgust and apologize for the actions of the crowds. Later in my college days at Anderson University I was dating a young lady who happened to be white and from the city of Anderson. She told me one day that she had mentioned to her folks that she was dating me and that I happened to be black. I was shaken emotionally when she tearfully told me that her dad said, “don’t bring him around here, I will shoot that nigger”. Needless to say that the relationship she and I had cooled off significantly after I received that bit of information. Thank God things have changed dramatically over the years. It doesn’t mean that some people don’t harbor resentment towards black folks, or anyone else different from themselves, they just may not make it public. I truly believe we still have a long way to go.

I mentioned those episodes because as I marched on 1/19/09 I thought of Dr. King and his associates being spit on, called vulgar names, beaten, and arrested for doing nothing more than exercising their right to march and protest the injustices of the times. Dr. King and his associates paved the way for me and the generations to come with their blood, sweat, and especially their tears. I don’t know what drove Dr. King to keep on pushing past the hardships, the obstacles, the red tape, and so forth. Many of us would have given up and stepped aside and let racism keep us down. I have to wonder whether we comfortable modern generations have enough strength and character to persevere thru such obstacles? I pray that we would do the same as Dr. King and rise up to protest injustice and strive to make things better for our future generations.

We welcome a new president today. I’m not foolish enough or starry-eyed enough to think that Mr. Obama can solve all of our nations woes, or appease the many desires of our nation (and many other nations as well) but I do think his ascension to the oval office is a very real glimmer of hope. It tells me that there is a substantial number of people, regardless of skin color, who believe that change is in the air, and it‘s a very good change. I’m not talking about the physical change in the person in charge of our nation. It’s more about people believing that there is no such thing as a second class citizen, especially in the case of skin color. Anyone can rise up to be whatever they believe they can be and they won‘t be held back because they aren’t white. It wasn’t always that way. Doors were closed, many were not allowed to shine in academics, athletics; or the arts – all due to the color of their skin. Today I have hope that my prayers to God will be heard. I support my new president and his efforts, and I pray that he will be led by his belief in God.

Thank you God for these days. Simply put, it has been a wonderful couple of great days.

 

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Thinking of Detroit

January 14, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Recently I read a very interesting article in the Detroit Free Press on-line entitled, “Detroiters carry on amid all the hardships” (yes, even after being gone from Michigan for nearly 20 years I still occasionally read that paper on-line). It was written by Mitch Albom, a well respected Free Press contributor and best-selling book author. His article had been released earlier in Sports Illustrated and it generated a great deal of buzz. I suspect Mr. Albom was prompted to write that great article after the NFL’s Detroit Lions finished this past season winless at 0-16. 2008 was a tough, tough year for Detroit – the big three automakers had to go begging to the U.S. government for bailout money; the Detroit Tigers major league baseball team under-performed and finished last in their division; the Mayor of Detroit was found guilty and faces prison time; and then of course the Lions fiasco. What a year!!

His article, which I urge you to read, was heartfelt, touching, funny, and full of pride for Detroit. My wife and I have plenty of wonderful memories of Detroit. We lived 140 miles to the west in Kalamazoo for seven years back in the 1980’s and quite often Detroit was a getaway place for us to visit family and to have fun. We loved our time in Michigan. We even loved the snow and cold of the brutal winters (the springs and summers were worth the price of putting up with constantly shoveling snow). In the 1980’s the economic wheels of the domestic auto industry, so to speak, had begun to wobble in earnest. I had felt that wobble up close and personal as I worked seven years for GM in Indianapolis prior to our move to Michigan, and although I loved that company very much (they gave me my first job out of college) I knew it was time to leave.

Mr. Albom talks a lot about the optimistic spirit that still prevails in the city of Detroit. It’s a city that at one time was the fourth largest in America. It was full of jobs, full of diversity, full of culture, and at one time was thought to be relatively safe to visit. In my opinion none of those attributes remain today. From what I’m told by many, the city is no longer safe, the jobs continue to dry up, and although much of the culture and diversity remains, it may not matter if no one wants to visit or live there. People have left Detroit in droves. I don’t know what the population is anymore but I know that it has shrunk significantly.

I remember us driving with an uncle and aunt to Detroit from Kalamazoo one time. Just outside of Detroit our relative stops the car, gets out, and takes the wheel covers off of the tires and stores them in the trunk. He didn’t trust Detroit. One time my sister-in-law and her family drove their brand new custom van from Rochester NY to Detroit for a visit. Their van didn’t make it overnight – it was stolen right from in front of our relatives house. The van was found a few days later completely gutted.

Those were awful memories for sure. But they are easily overshadowed by the good memories. My wife and I will always have the memories of Detroit to fall back on – the visits to our relatives in the inner-city (we prayed that our car wouldn’t get broken into overnight, fortunately for us it did not); visiting the amazing Renaissance Center in downtown Detroit; enjoying lovely Belle Isle (a park on an island on the Detroit River); eating famous Buddy’s Pizza (I wonder if it’s still there?); and going to Lions and Pistons games at the Pontiac Silver Dome (at one time I was a Pistons fan, hard to believe since I’m a die-hard Spurs fan now). Detroit was also one of the gateways to Canada. Just by crossing the Detroit River over a huge impressive looking bridge one arrived in Windsor Canada. We took that bridge many times as we headed across Ontario on our way to Rochester NY. The view of Detroit’s lovely skyline from the crest of the bridge was awesome.

I will always have a soft spot in my heart for good old Detroit. I’m sorry for their struggles and I’m sorry that much of our country has such a negative opinion of the city. This past summer my family and I flew into Detroit Metro Wayne airport. Unfortunately we didn’t have time to go into Detroit as we had to hustle off to Kalamazoo. I would have loved to see it once again…well, on second thought, maybe not, since so many things are falling apart. Maybe it’s best to just keep the memories. I wish the city well as it tries to recover.

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Marrakech versus Avenida Florida (shoppers delights)

November 26, 2008 · 1 Comment

marakech-market

For some reason I am an avid shopper (I’ll discuss that reason later). Recently during my trip to Morocco I was blessed to be able to shop, for 3 days no less, at Marrakech’s Jemal El Fna Marketplace, a world famous sprawling maze of shops and alleyways that seems to go forever in all directions. At Jemal El Fna one can buy pretty much anything from live chickens and ducks, leather goods, carvings, jewelry, clothing, fruits and vegetables, awesome carpets and rugs, and of course the staple of any great tourist attraction – cheap t-shirts.

A few years ago I had the pleasure of visiting Buenos Aires Argentina several times on business. During the after work hours my team and I would head to Avenida Florida (or Florida street as I called it) for some serious shopping. Avenida Florida was part shoppers mecca, and part entertainment hub. It was a pedestrian mall that went on for at least 10 blocks and was full of shops, stores, and even had its own indoor mall or galleria. My team and I bought lots of clothing there, especially the Argentinean specialty – wool sweaters. In Buenos Aires there are better, more upscale places to shop but few offer what Avenida Florida offer – excitement, fun (street performers, tango dancers), and a bit of danger too (don’t wander far from Florida Street at night). One time, at night, my team and I wandered a few blocks from Florida Street looking for a certain restaurant. We could feel the vibe change dramatically and we ultimately high tailed it back to “our street” for safety.

In Marrakech Jemal El Fna marketplace had a vibe or feel to it as well. That vibe translated to me as, “come tourist, shop and barter for my goods, eat at my restaurants, but be wary after dark especially and don’t wander far from me”. The marketplace, I suppose, could be intimidating to some people. Trying to walk the gauntlet of tight passageways while dodging mopeds, motorbikes, donkey carts, small cars and trucks was challenging for sure. One also must withstand the constant callings of the shopkeepers (“hey mister American, where you from? or “you from Texas, my sister lives in Texas, come into my store”). It was a crazy mad scene and it just added to the excitement.

Speaking earlier of my love for shopping I think that I have to blame a few close loved ones for that. I blame my lovely wife, my daughter Brie, my mother, and my sister. My family is ripe with shopping junkies who can go shopping nearly all day non-stop (it’s true, I’ve witnessed it many times in person). So my spending hours in the morning at the Marrakech marketplace, taking a short break for snacks, and then hitting it hard in the afternoon and evening was no surprise.

Bartering for the best price with the shopkeepers in the Jemal El Fna marketplace is expected and encouraged. I love that aspect of shopping in places like that. We did the same in Argentina. It’s a game and I love how the shopkeeper starts it off, after you ask “how much”, with an outrageous reply of a price. Of course you then come back with an outrageous counter offer and then it’s on from there. Back and forth you go until one of you gives in. I especially love the part where you, the shopper, does “the walk-away” (in essence you walk out since he won’t give you your price). Then the shopkeeper usually runs after you and ultimately you come to an agreement.

During my 3 days and nights in fabulous Marrakech I had plenty of opportunities to practice bartering and “the walk-away”. In fact in my mind I was getting pretty good at it and I may have even begun to feel cocky. On my last evening there though I met my match when I was attempting to negotiate the best price for two soccer jerseys I wanted to buy. I had bartered back and forth with this particular shopkeeper who wanted to close for the evening. He was doing an excellent job of standing firm on his price. I had done “the walk-away” but he had pulled me back in (my first mistake). Finally he gave me my price and put two jerseys in the bag. After giving him my dirhams (Moroccan money) I left the shop with one of my teammates. As we approached the plaza on the way to our hotel I decided to double-check the sizes of my jerseys (I needed XXL). To my horror and amazement the jerseys weren’t XXL, not even close. Immediately I knew I had lost that match because he had the money and in Morocco a few things are known up front, such as, 1) there are no receipts for returns, 2) there are no returns, and 3) there’s no getting your money back.

So my great bartering skills had failed me. I had forgotten to double-check the jerseys before paying and walking out. In short, we went back to the shop, and of course he didn’t have the XXL sizes in those jerseys (or any others for that matter), and I ended up with two t-shirts that I wasn’t thrilled with. That bartering episode however didn’t dampen my love of the Jemal El Fna marketplace or Marrakech at all. In fact I thoroughly enjoyed my entire Morocco experience. I would love to return some day with Barbara (and my “kids” as well) God willing and the creek don’t rise. Seeing fabulous Marrakech, the awesome Atlas Mountains, and visiting some of the Berber villages again would be so great. I would love to visit Casablanca too the next time. The people I came into contact with (even the shopkeeper who took me) were warm and friendly and they all contributed to making it easy to love Morocco. God blessed me with an awesome, amazing, and safe experience in Morocco. Next time I plan to double-check my purchases before walking out :)

Like anywhere else in the world it’s always buyer beware!!

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